How to Last Longer During Sex
How do I last longer during sex? It’s a question we hear a lot. It can affect self-esteem, relationships, and sexual satisfaction in general. But GASM is here to help. Here are some practical steps you can take to increase your stamina and improve your sexual performance. In this guide, we’ll explore proven techniques, from exercises to exhalations, medications to meditations, all of which will make sex a marathon, not a sprint.
Why is Duration Important?
Before firing the starting gun, let’s just think for a moment about why lasting longer can be helpful for both you and your partner. For some of you reading this article, it’ll be totally obvious. It can be frustrating just getting going with a pleasurable sexual experience, only for it to come to an abrupt and early end. There's also a psychological satisfaction in being able to satisfy your partner. With satisfaction comes benefits to your relationship outside the bedroom like feelings of togetherness and connection. Satisfying a partner, especially a woman, often correlates with the ability to maintain sexual activity for longer periods. For some women, it can take up to 20 minutes of specific stimulation to reach orgasm (and that doesn’t even include the time it takes to find that right position and act on it). So, lasting longer not only boosts your confidence but can also lead to a more fulfilling sexual experience for both partners.
Understand the Culprit: Premature Ejaculation
One of the most common issues affecting sexual duration is premature ejaculation (PE), which occurs when you ejaculate sooner than you’d like. It's estimated that about 30% of men experience PE at some point in their lives. If this is your primary concern, you're not alone. The good news is that there are numerous techniques and treatments available.
Techniques and Exercises to Last Longer
The Start-Stop Technique
This involves stimulating your penis until you feel like you're about to ejaculate, then stopping all sexual activity until the urge passes. It’s difficult and can feel really frustrating especially if you don’t manage to control yourself the first few times. But stick at it and you’ll start to gradually become attuned to your body. You’ll be able to hear your body’s “tells” that let you know that you’re close to cumming. You can practice this alone or with a supportive partner. Repeating this process regularly can help you identify your point of no return and over time gives you better control.
Contrary to popular belief, Kegels aren't just for women. Men can also benefit from these pelvic floor exercises, which can provide greater control over the ejaculation reflex. To perform a Kegel, tighten the muscles you'd use to stop urinating mid-stream, hold for a few seconds, then release. Aim for three sets of 10 reps a day. Look for apps called “Kegel Timers” to turn this practice into a more regular routine.
Focus on Foreplay
Sometimes the pressure to perform can be your worst enemy. Focusing on foreplay not only can make the overall experience more satisfying for your partner but also takes away some of the stress and anxiety that can lead to premature ejaculation.
Breath and Meditation
Deep and rhythmic breathing activates your body's relaxation response, and fights the arousal and tension that lead to early exit. By focusing on your breath, you can also divert your attention away from sensations that might cause you to cum too quickly, giving you more control. Mastering the art of breath control provides a natural and effective way to prolong sex which is not just helpful for the duration of sex but also its quality.
Tantric Meditation is an ancient practice rooted in the spiritual traditions of Hinduism and Buddhism. Its principles can be profoundly helpful for Sexual Wellbeing. The technique is holistic i.e. not just body, but mind and even spirit too, if you’re into that sort of thing. (At GASM we think that there are scientifically verifiable reasons to suspend your disbelief and treat sex as something for Mind, Body and Spirit, whatever that looks like for you.) Tantric Meditation focuses not only on physical control but also on emotional and psychological balance. By cultivating awareness and “being present” through breath control, visualization, and energy movement, tantric meditation gives better command over sexual response. CHECK OUT OUR DEEP DIVE INTO TANTRA IF YOU’RE INTERESTED HERE.
In a typical tantric meditation session to combat premature ejaculation, you would start by creating a serene environment, sitting comfortably with your spine straight, either alone or with a partner. Start with deep, rhythmic breathing for at least a couple of minutes to bring down your heart rate and commit to giving this experience some serious time. This is followed by techniques to listen to the sensations in your body, such as touching or massaging parts of the body which aren’t your usual erogenous zones. As you channel your focus away from the 'end goal' of orgasm and towards the experience of the present moment, you’ll become better equipped to recognize the 'point of no return' and control your ejaculatory reflex. This kind of mental control, when practiced consistently, can massively extend the duration of sex. Beyond just timing, the enhanced emotional connection with your partner and heightened awareness of each other can be really powerful too.
Creams or sprays containing numbing agents like lidocaine can be applied to your penis to reduce sensation and delay ejaculation. However, make sure to use them as directed otherwise you might end up numbing your partner as well.
Thicker brand condoms can act as a barrier and decrease sensation, which can delay ejaculation.
Drugs like SSRIs have the side effect of delaying ejaculation and are often prescribed for men dealing with premature ejaculation but always consult a doctor for advice here. While at GASM we would only recommend medicalising a problem like PE after you’ve exhausted all other options, there is some good science which suggests that these kinds of medicines can help when used sparingly and in combination with all of the rest of the advice here.
Lifestyle Choices for Better Sexual Health
Like almost everything else in life, your diet plays a super-important role in sexual health. Foods rich in antioxidants, like fruits and vegetables, can increase blood flow to the genitals. Zinc-rich foods like nuts and oysters (yup, that’s why they’re the “food of love”) can also improve testosterone levels.
Cardiovascular exercise increases your overall stamina and energy levels, which can improve your sexual performance. Aim for at least 30 minutes of intense cardio or 90 mins of more moderate exercise 3-4 times a week.
Chronic stress and anxiety can lead to sexual performance issues. Practices such as meditation or mindfulness can help manage stress and improve your sexual performance.
Learning how to last longer in bed is not just about improving your staying power but also about enhancing the overall sexual experience for you and your partner. A combination of exercises, lifestyle changes, and, if needed, medical treatments can help you achieve your goals.
Remember, everyone’s sexual experience is different, and what might work for one person may not be effective for another. It's crucial to communicate openly with your partner about what helps you best.
Maybe you’ve got questions. Sling them below in the comments. Have you tried any of the techniques above and found them helpful? Tell us about it. Maybe you want to see more detail on anything we’ve gone into? We’re paying careful attention to the comments and will actively write about the topics your want to learn more about. Just let us know.
How do I last longer during sex? There are a variety of different options involving techniques to use both during and outside sex, medications and lifestyle modifications.
What are the techniques to last longer during sex? During sex you can use the Start-Stop method to prevent orgasming too soon, Kegel Exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor, Foreplay focus to place the emphasis on pleasure and connection with your partner. Breath and Meditation assist with presence and control during sex itself.
What medicines help with Premature Ejaculation? Topical Anesthetics and Prescription Medication can both help with Premature Ejactulation and can help you to last longer during sex. Thicker brands of condom also can help reduce sensitivity and increase longevity.
What changes can I make to my lifestyle to last longer during sex? Eat a healthy mix of foods, take steps to regularly improve your cardiovascular fitness and manage stress and anxiety.